Those three words
by Maxaro
Summary: You really wanted to tell Beli. You wanted to say those three words you knew she longed to hear, but how could you when it would be a lie? How could you tell her that you loved her when you didn't even know how love felt? But still, you wanted to say it to her, because making her happy was one of the best things about your day. Co-written with The Loneliest Of All.


Beli Lepran liked to think she was an expert when it came to the heart and it's various wants and needs. To her the heart always came first. You were the first person to ever get into bed with her before either of you had said I love you, which she had told you afterwards, as you both lied there soaking in the afterglow. It was a surprise that she would initiate it first, then, that she would be the one to ask if she could stay the night.

You wanted to say it to her then and there, you really did, but you knew it would be a lie. You liked Beli, in fact you liked Beli a lot, but love wasn't and had never been your strong suit and you honestly didn't want to lie to her. She deserved better than that. So you stayed quiet, at least when the subject of love came up in conversation.

However, the thing that kept you from saying it wasn't that you _didn't_ love her, but that you wasn't sure how it even felt like when you did love someone.

You've had many lovers in the past and felt a lot of different ways towards them all but Beli felt different. You were unsure whether different was really good or not. Your heart skipped beats, and you figured that was a good sign. She made you happy, and you also figured that was a good sign as well. But what else was there supposed to be to tell? You were absolutely hopeless when it came to this stuff.

Maybe, you thought, you could subtly ask Beli what she thought love felt like.

She was certainly knowledgeable on this stuff, that much you was sure of, and, even if you would rather spend an eternity doing yoga than admit it to her, she wasn't the hardest person in the world to lead on...

Taking her on a date first seemed like the best option, to make her sure she was happy before you began talking about something that might potentially ruin your relationship completely.

Vinnie's seemed like a nice choice. Good food, romantic setting, you knew she liked it there, and it gave you an excuse to look at her in one of those gorgeous dresses she owned.

You loved those dresses so much, her culture was beautiful, and you absolutely adored when she spoke to you of it, or more accurately _educated_ you on it. You figured that was a good starting point. You complimented her on her dress, and she grew bashful and shy but still smiled happily, like she usually did. You talked for a while of things that didn't matter, just having fun, but you knew you'd have to bring it up eventually.

"Hey, Beli... what does love feel like to you?" You ask carefully, trying to not be _too_ obvious. She paused, blushing and looking up at you.

"W-well... it's wonderful. You feel like you're happy all the time, like when you're with the person you love nothing can go wrong. When you're with someone you love you feel as if you're no longer missing a piece to a puzzle, like everything around you just locks perfectly into place. You feel warm and content and… more. Does... does that explain it?" She finished, still blushing madly and toying with her hair.

You thought you did, but you also knew that you still had to be careful about just what you said. "Yeah, I Think I get the Picture." You said with a little smirk, looking Beli straight in the eye.

She met your gaze for a moment before looking down at her hands, blushing even more, if that was even possible. "... what about you then...?" Her voice was so quiet you almost didn't catch it.

"Me? Well... I don't really know. I suppose it feels sorta unreal. Like when I'm with the person I love I feel safe, happy too, but mostly safe and like every moment is a dream." You were still staring directly in her eyes, her beautiful, beautiful eyes. They shone like precious jewels.

You continued. "It feels like I can't make a single mistake, and even if I do then it could easily be made up for. Like I'm always relaxed and the stress just melts away."

Beli looked back down with the biggest smile on her face and picked at her salad (though you could tell she desperately wanted something greasier, she wanted to keep up her appearance around you, you knew).

"Do you... have you ever truly loved someone before? With the entirety of your being...?" She asked quietly. You knew this kind of question was coming, but it still hit you hard. You wanted to just say yes, but you felt like it would be a lie as long as you weren't sure...

"I..." you took a deep breath, and when you Beli looked up again the hopeful shimmer in her eyes tore at your heart, "I honestly don't know..."

The disappointment that took the shimmer of hope's place made you feel guilty. "Oh... I see." Beli loved you. That was clear. But now you knew she loved you with the 'entirety of her being.' And that was a scary thought. How could you know if you felt the same.

"I- how would I tell? I don't know if I've ever... how do you know if you love someone?"

The disappointment was still clear in her ruby eyes, but now you also saw confusion mix together with it. "You mean you haven't ever loved someone before...?"

You quickly stretched out over your table and grabbed one of her hands, holding it in both of yours, lightly caressing it as you spoke. "No, that's not entirely right. I _might_ have loved a lot of people in my life, but I don't _know_ if I have. I've never had someone sit down and, like, 'explain the rules' of how it feels like when you do love someone..."

The hope returned, and the disappointment faded slightly. "Well there are no rules, it's just a feeling. There are a lot of ways to know how you feel. Like when you do a romantic action with someone, does it feel better than if you do it with someone else?"

"Like... a kiss?" If you thought about it, the kisses you've shared with Beli have been amazing. Absolutely mind blowing would be more accurate, but you wanted to be even more sure.

"Or... sex," she said, her face growing red once more. "You'd know for sure then, there are feelings involved if you love them."

Her words almost made you want to laugh. Were there feelings involved when you spent the night with Beli? That was like asking if the the sun was hot or asking if your back hurt after doing yoga. Both obviously true and a massive understatement.

Your eyes looked deep into Beli's once again, and you tried to keep the laughter bubbling within you out of your voice. "Every night I've spent with you, Beli, has felt more amazing than I even thought possible. I feel connected to you in a way I've never felt before whenever we're together in bed..."

Beli put her hand to her chest. "Are you... trying to say that you..." you held up a finger, silencing her for a brief moment. She subconsciously bit her lip. A thing you noticed she did when she was nervous.

"Beli, I didn't want to say it because I wasn't sure. I wanted to be sure so that I wouldn't be lying to you. And I realize now that I've felt something for you all this time and I've kept you waiting for no reason. Beli Lepran, I love you."

Had you not been in a crowded restaurant you seriously doubted that Beli wouldn't have tackled you over the table and then straddled you right then and there, so instead you watched her face break out into the most happy and serene smile you had ever seen, her eyes actually seeming misty.

"I love you too..." she whispered after a moment and you could feel your heart become warm. You knew she loved you before she actually said the words, but hearing her say it still made you feel unfathomably happy.

"Can we... go back to your place tonight? I don't feel like doing anything I just... I don't want to sleep alone tonight." You smiled at her and agreed. She didn't need to ever sleep alone as long as you were there. Whether you slept over at her house, or she slept at your apartment, it didn't matter. You were both together, and you both loved each other, so things would be alright.


End file.
